I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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