My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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