Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
