this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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