the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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