Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
