Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
