There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
