it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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