all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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