I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Too much gin, very little bucket
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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