I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
