I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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