I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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