I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
