I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
