This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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