I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
