she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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