dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Randomize
