too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
