All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She's just so happy...and so naked.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
