Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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