By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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