butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Your dad touched me again.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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