I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
