Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Come on in and take your pants off
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