i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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