Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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