He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
