I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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