found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
