HIV tests are more positive than that guy
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
