no. you can't hotbox the world.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
