So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
