i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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