I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
