Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
