my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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