his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
