did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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