I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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