she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
