Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
