with your own penis?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
