i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
