erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
