ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Never underestimate the power of titties
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
