the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
