Your dad touched me again.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
