I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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