THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
