just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
